There’s something that happens to us when we leave our city… and lately we’ve been thinking about it a lot. And it’s not the typical “travel is nice” thing. It’s something more specific. Like we relax, but not in a physical way more in our heads. It’s like… we stop being so constantly aware of ourselves. Because yeah, you’re away, you don’t know anyone, no one has a pre-made idea of who you are… and without even noticing, you just lower your guard a bit. And that, at least for us as queer people, brings a lot of peace. Because even if you have your own space and your people, there’s always this slight feeling of being “on.” Reading the room, the people, how you’re coming across, how you speak… it’s subtle, but it’s there. Like a radar we don’t even question anymore. And when we’re away… that radar doesn’t disappear, but it definitely quiets down. And suddenly you’re just talking to someone without overthinking how you’re being perceived. Or you’re in a bar and you just… care a bit less about everything. And you feel more like yourself but without […]
There’s something that happens to us when we leave our city… and lately we’ve been thinking about it a lot.
And it’s not the typical “travel is nice” thing. It’s something more specific. Like we relax, but not in a physical way more in our heads.
It’s like… we stop being so constantly aware of ourselves.
Because yeah, you’re away, you don’t know anyone, no one has a pre-made idea of who you are… and without even noticing, you just lower your guard a bit. And that, at least for us as queer people, brings a lot of peace.
Because even if you have your own space and your people, there’s always this slight feeling of being “on.” Reading the room, the people, how you’re coming across, how you speak… it’s subtle, but it’s there.
Like a radar we don’t even question anymore.
And when we’re away… that radar doesn’t disappear, but it definitely quiets down. And suddenly you’re just talking to someone without overthinking how you’re being perceived. Or you’re in a bar and you just… care a bit less about everything.
And you feel more like yourself but without forcing it. That’s where it gets a bit weird for us, honestly.
Because then you come back and think: okay, if this version of us feels better… why does it come out so easily when we’re away, but not so much here?
And it’s not about thinking we’re “making it up” when we travel. Not at all.
It’s more like: when you’re away, you’re not carrying the full weight of your story all the time. No one has already put you in a box, no one is expecting a specific version of you… and that shows.
Here it’s different. There are dynamics, there are people who already kind of “read” you a certain way, there are contexts where you already know how you fit in… and stepping outside of that takes way more effort than just getting on a plane, obviously.
But lately we’ve been thinking it’s not really about choosing between one version or another.
It’s more about not keeping that freer version only for when we travel. Bringing small bits of it back. Not everything, because that wouldn’t be realistic. But something.
Talking a bit more calmly. Holding back a bit less in certain moments. Not constantly measuring ourselves without even realizing it.
Just giving ourselves a bit more space… without turning it into some big dramatic thing. Because in the end, we don’t think that when we travel we become “someone else.”
We think we’re still us… just with fewer layers on top.